Peony beads and 4am

 

Turkey had already been challenging for me, missed flights, wrong airports, wrong tinder dates, yes, I should probably know better by now.
So, let’s start with the day that we were to fly out of Turkey to Madrid, Spain.

Because we had missed the flight the day before and had stayed at the hooker red hotel which is in the Istanbul airport. we got up at 4am to get the flight to Madrid.

Do you know anyone that likes getting up at 4am? well I don’t. I felt like being rebellious which isn’t unusual for me so I had no shoes on, a long black dress I had purchased on the spur of the moment and a mask, because I had to.

We got to the lineup for the flight and saw that we had to empty our water bottles, I went up to empty mine and stood a little longer there and a guy decided to tell me to get to the back of the line. I’m a feminist and don’t care for random men telling me what to do at the best of times, but I had just got up at 4am so be prepared for war.

Lets skip to the toilet scene, I still had peony seeds in my vagina and had just drunk half of the vile juice the Sharman whom I had met at the VIP bar had given me the night before, after he had read my fortune or aura??

Half way to the gate, I started to heave, and sweat. I was nauseous and felt like passing out, vomiting and dying all at the same time. Keeley was in the same state, actually worse. We ran pushing random people out of the way to get to the bathroom as quick as possible. I think Keeley’s vomit hit the back of the toilet wall, I made it but couldn’t vomit as much as I felt I needed. I was green, Keeley was sweating, her dark hair stuck to her white face and bits of vomit on her hands. I thought I was actually doing ok.

When the boarding gate lady passes me onto the plane I’m so happy, but I turn to see that Keeley has been stopped and refused boarding. The same lady has declined Keeley boarding as she has an Australian passport and apparently Spain is not accepting Australians at the moment.

I turn back around and head back to let the women know that Keeley my daughter and with me, just because I have a British passport and hers is Australian does not mean we’re not traveling together. I show her the birth certificate, at this point the plane is fully boarded and we are not.

The women is adamant that Keeley can’t leave and proceeds to start scrolling through the Turkish airlines website to prove that what she says is the rules. So at this point I think, this women really doesn’t know what the hell she is doing, if she has to google it she doesn’t know.

So with all my ‘this is such bullshit face” I tell her I have a letter from the Spanish consulate that specifically says Keeley is able to enter Spain, don’t make me go through the bag and find it or all hell will break loose I say, really starting to make a scene.

Ok she says, on you go….

As soon as the plane takes off I start to feel bad, really bad.

I start to feel dizzy, sweat and go pale, I eye off the seat belt sign like a junky and as soon as it goes off I rush to the toilet and vomit. when I get back Keeley says that I look so green and am sweating so much, I think I’m dying. I can’t explain the feeling of being sucked to death from the inside out.

So many things were going through my mind;

Why were they removing passengers? Was I actually dying of some weird poison? What time did the PCR tests we did the day before the flight we missed expire? Was I going to vomit again and if I did it was going to be in my mask. Why was the nice man I met at check in with the pride coloured suitcase on the plane when his suitcase was clearly sitting in the middle of the tarmac like a lost puppy?

I closed my eyes and took slow deep breathes whilst holding onto the vomit back from the back of the seat in front of me.

Surely this would be over soon.